Dear Jasmine,
My husband died July16th of this year at the age of 48. He died by drowning. The following three months have been really bad for me and I did not think I could make it by myself. Other men are asking me out. Do you think it is to soon? It gets so lonely here.
Bobbie
Chicago, IL
Dear Bobbie,
I am very sorry for your loss. Your husband’s death must have been very hard on you. It is never easy when it comes to dealing with a death of a love one. I was wondering if you have gotten grief counseling after your husband’s death. Perhaps you should get some counseling if you are having a hard time dealing with your husband’s death.
However, dating because you are lonely since your husband died is not really a good situation to put yourself in. I don’t think you should start dating until you have fully dealt with your husband’s death and aren’t dating men to find someone to quickly fill the void your husband has left in your life.
I think it would be okay for you to go out with them as friends or in groups. Maybe if you want to just go out with him, you should let them know your situation and that you only want to be friends for now because you are still dealing with your husband’s death. Also, I think you should spend more time with your family and friends if you get lonely. Let your family and friends be there for you during this time because you shouldn’t go through this by yourself.
I know it is not the same as when you were with your husband, but I think if you start dating too soon, you may jump into a relationship purely to replace the lonely feeling you have felt since your husband died. You don’t want to get involved with someone when your not ready yet because your judgment could be clouded, since you are longing for some companionship and you could overlook other things that are important.
Don’t rush yourself into any relationship right now. I know things are hard, but you need to fully deal with your husband’s death before you start dating other men. Please take my suggestion and seek some counseling if you need it.
Always here,
Jasmine
