Dear Jasmine,
I have this problem that I really need advice for. It’s a problem I’m sure you’ve heard a lot. I am friends with this one girl. Best friends actually.
We’ve been friends for a couple years now. I’ve recently started to have romantic feelings for her. I care about her so much and I don’t want to destroy the friendship by telling her this.
What do you think I should do?
Anonymous Male
USA
Dear Anonymous,
This is quite common scenario for best friends. First I would ask if she has displayed any indications that she may feel the same towards you. If you think there could be a good chance, then it would probably be easier for you to approach her about your feelings for her.
I have seen the good and bad that have come out of best friends dating. Some turn out great, while others end and they are never friends again, which I can see is what you are afraid of.
This is my advice to you, if you guys have a solid friendship, you should tell her how you feel. If she does not feel the same, then you need to work through it and accept her as a friend, at the same time reassuring her that you will respect her feelings for you and not pressure her. One of two things could happen, you guys will move pass it and still remain best friends, or she could distance herself from you because she might feel awkward. This really depends on your friendship and what type of bond you guys have.
Like I mentioned previously, another scenario would be she feels the same for you and you guys start dating. One, you guys might have a great relationship or you guys may break up one day and mayor may not be friends. You need to ask yourself if you are willing to take the risk of losing her as a friend. I am not saying that you will lose her as a friend for sure if you guys date and break up but I am asking if you are willing to risk it because it may happen.
Even though it could potentially be a big risk to you I would have you consider the rewards of it as well. Even couples that do break up, if they never got together in the first place, they would not have had the experience to grow and experience all these things with one another. So at the end if your relationship doesn’t work out, I think it would still be a growing experience, which you may gain many memories you would not have if you were to remain her best friend. Sometimes your boyfriend or girlfriends do turn out to be your best friend. So I think it comes down to whether you are willing to take the chance on this is essentially the big question.
Always here,
Jasmine
