Dear Jasmine,
Picture a beautiful 17 yr old girl. She is intelligent but has been doing some really stupid things!! She is involved with drugs and involved with a Mexican gang member, who is currently into identity theft. What makes things worse is that now she has decided to quit her job, get pregnant and support her homeless boyfriend on welfare.
Her parents were divorced 10 years ago. Her mother is all for this disastrous idea. I’m guessing she will also be living on her daughter’s welfare check.
Her dad sat down and cried because of what is going on with her! The rest of the family allows her to do whatever she wants to because they don’t want to make her mad.
Any advice??? I can’t talk to the kid because I’m the “evil step mother†and the only one with eyes wide open to what she’s been up to.
Frustrated
Portland, OR
Dear Frustrated,
Kids, especially throughout their teenage years seem to act out. Sounds like your step-daughter has gone all the way around a couple of times. What makes this situation worse, is that it seems that her mother and the rest of the family, besides your husband, is enabling her to continue this behavior.
Since you don’t feel like your in a position to talk to your step-daughter, I suggest your husband should talk to her. Figure out at what point did her behavior change and see what may have caused her to become what she is today. Have your husband let her know how much he loves her and cares about her future. He should let her know just how destructive her behavior is and how it could affect her child.
Your husband should appeal to the fact that she needs to be more responsible now that she has a child and needs to provide a good life for her baby. Living off welfare is not the answer and she needs to know that. She shouldn’t want her child to live through such a hard life because she should be responsible for her child’s upbringing. Does she really want her child to go through all the trouble with her current boyfriend?
For the sake of your soon to be grandchild, your husband needs to be there for his daughter and try to help her as much as he can. She needs to know that there are other options out there. She needs to stop doing drugs and start taking care of herself so that her baby will not be born with any defects. If she is unsure of what to do about that, she should probably contact your local Planned Parenthood and get some resources from them.
I know its going to be tough, because chances are she is at a point in her life where she doesn’t want to listen. Have your husband talk to her and be as supportive as you can for your husband because it is tough for him to see his daughter in such a mess.
Always here,
Jasmine
