Dear Jasmine,
I had a girlfriend of about 4 years. She broke up with me this past year. She lives 2 hours from me and we had not been seeing much of each other for about 2 months prior. I had a pinched nerve in my back that made driving to see her very uncomfortable so that is why I couldn’t see her as much.
Two weeks before the 4th of July my mom passed away in Florida so I was there for a few days for her funeral. After our break up she would still call me and say how much she loved me and missed me. After about a month and a half we got back together.
The problem now is that I found out she didn’t waste any time in jumping in bed with another guy. I found out about a week after we got back together again that she had unprotected sex with this low life guy. She keeps asking for forgiveness but I don’t feel it in my heart.
I still love her but after all this time I still think about the 2 of them being together and it is driving me crazy. Is there anything I can do to forget or should I just break up with her. What bothers me the most is her hooking up with him the next day after our break up and lying to me about being with him and denying she was sleeping with him. Help me.
Thanks,
Steve C
Schererville, IN
Dear Steve,
One thing to keep in mind was that you guys were not together when she slept with this other guy. Yes, it is a very insensitive thing to do and she probably did it without much thinking. I think that was a very poor decision that she made to sleep with the guy shortly after your breakup and of course to use no protection.
First I would have you get yourself check if you have been intimate with her to be sure that you have not gotten anything from her. I would approach the idea that she may have more partners then you in her past. You can’t allow the fact that she had other sexual partners bother you because chances are she might’ve had other partners before she met you.
The biggest problem I can see here is that she lied about it. I can see why she lied because its just not something you would want to tell your current partner but the fact that she lied about it makes the situation worse then it already is. Not only did she lie to you but she also put you at risk since she did not use any protection while she was intimate with the other guy.
What you have to decide for yourself is, are you able to forgive her and move pass the lie. If you feel like you can still trust her then I would try to drop the issue with her and build on your relationship. If you want to break up with her, do it because you feel like you can not trust her anymore. Don’t stay with her if you do not trust her because it will just build more problems for the both of you in the future.
Always here,
Jasmine
