Dear Jasmine,
My best friend recently confided in me that she is bi-sexual. I have been best friends for her for over 15 years and the thought never crossed my mind. When she told me I was in total shock because she told me she has dated other women but none seriously. This made me even more shock, only because she kept it from me for so long.
I always told her everything and I thought we had the type of friendship where we kept no secrets. Now I am starting to doubt it. I accept her for who she is but I am having a hard time over looking what I consider to be deceit. I wish she would have told me about it when she started feeling everything because I would’ve been there for her regardless.
Deep down inside I know she has been a good friend to me but this huge secret that has been revealed to me really got me. What makes it worse, is that she told other people before she told me, which makes me feel even worse then I already do. Please let me know what I should do.
Joan T.
Calgary, Canada
Dear Joan,
It is quite understandable that you are upset that such a huge secret was kept from you from your best friend. I know you probably have to know how hard it was for your best friend to live with this secret and also what she must have been going through. Yes, you want to be there for her, but sometimes some people don’t understand what they are going through and they don’t want to be judged by others.
My guess is that your opinion to her is very important and I think she may have been scared about how you would react to it since your very important to her. I think she may have not wanted you to look at her differently if she wasn’t sure yet and she didn’t tell you until she was sure about it.
You may need some time just to absorb the shock of it all first and think about your friendship before you make any rash decisions. If you haven’t already, you should talk to her about why she didn’t tell you and sort everything out. See if you are able to understand why she didn’t tell you and the reasoning behind it. Don’t throw away your friendship until you are able to come together and talk it out because it sounds like you guys have been friends for so long that it would be a shame to see all that go.
Always here,
Jasmine
