Dear Jasmine,
There is this one guy that I met in one of my college classes. See I didn’t know much about him but I was just attracted to him. I decide to let him know how I felt through a letter. Well from then on we became really good friends and I can say that we are getting closer all the time.
The problem is that I don’t think he sees me as anything more yet and the more I get to know him, the more I fall in love with him. He is the first guy I really love but I don’t think I should tell him. I am torn between the fact that I should be happy that we are so close or that we can’t be anything more then just friends. I am not sure if I should say anything because he is not the type to open up. Any thoughts, advice you have will be greatly appreciated!
Fiona
New York, NY
Dear Fiona,
I think you may be jumping to conclusions since you don’t really know how he feels towards you. In my opinion, I think you will drive yourself crazy until you tell him how you feel and find out if he feels the same way or if he doesn’t. The risk you run is that you both may feel weird if the feeling is not mutual between you guys and that may put a damper on the friendship.
The problem I see is that if you do not tell him how you feel, you will always wonder if he ever liked you or if he had feelings for you. It sounds like you guys have built a pretty good friendship together and that may be why you are so hesitant to tell him how you feel. For the sake of your sanity, I think you should talk to him. Just be prepared for it if it does not go the way you want. That is a risk you have to be ready to take in case he doesn’t feel the same about you.
Hopefully if that is the case, you guys will still be able to maintain your friendship, and it will really test it to see how strong of a friendship you guys may really have. If you guys can work pass it then it can only make your friendship stronger. If he is able to open up to you and does feel the same way then hopefully things will work out between you two. Just know that when you enter into a relationship with someone you have created such a close friendship with that if the relationship ends one day, you may have difficulty maintaining the friendship. That is not always the case, of course, but I am just pointing them out to you so you can consider them.
If things work out then that would be even better for the both of you, but the first step is to ask yourself if you are willing to take the risk.
Always here,
Jasmine
