Dear Jasmine,
I have fallen in love with a 20 year-old girl and I am 40 years old. I never meant for this to happen. We were just very good friends and enjoyed each other’s company. She does love me and cares about me very much but not in a romantic way.
I sometime find myself jealous and wanting to have a more serious relationship with her but I know that is not going to happen.
How do I control my emotions and feelings so that I can remain a good friend to her? I want her to be happy and have the best life has to offer, but I don’t want to lose her as a friend.
Thanks,
Tom
Westland, MI
Dear Tom,
It is good to hear that you are aware of your situation and seem to be interested in the well being of this girl. One thing you have to focus on is respect. You have to respect how she feels, and it seem that you do, and keep in mind that she is still growing up. I think you may to spend some time away from her in order to deal with your feelings for her. I can’t be sure if you really do love her or its some sort of infatuation with her due to something going on in your life.
I think what is best for you and the best for her right now is that you take a step back and not communicate with her for awhile. I think that’s the only way you can truly be a good friend to her still. Your feelings for her right now seem to be difficult for you to handle and is confusing because you are still spending time with her and not allowing yourself to get over it.
Do yourself a favor and especially do her this favor and take this time to assess what is going on in your life that would cause you to have these feelings towards her. If given time, you are not able to get rid of these feelings for her, I would suggest that you seek professional help and try to figure out how to deal with this issue.
Always here,
Jasmine
