Dear Jasmine,
I am in a serious relationship and something happened out of no where, my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years told me that she thinks she doesn’t love me anymore and that she was talking to someone on-line for a while. In which, she says that she regrets it and feels so guilty and that she wants us to work it out.
This happened yesterday and since than I feel destroyed and I don’t know what to do. We made love for the past two days and it’s been great. And she says she’s going through a confusing state right now. But that she feels that if she chose that other person over me she would regret losing me.
Tell me please what I should do. I am so in love with her. She told that person that it was a mistake and she doesn’t want to talk to her anymore. She tells me that we will work out through time. We have known each other all our lives.
Sometimes I fee like I’m losing her and there are times I feel that she is completely mine. She hates it and gets jealous so much. Those are the times I know she loves me. She hugs me and kisses me a lot. She looks so deep into my eyes now, that makes me wonder if she still loves me or not.
Wen M.
Kalamazoo MI
Dear Wen,
If your girlfriend has already started talking to someone else and has considered breaking up with you or doesn’t know if she loves you anymore, I think it’s important that you guys take a break from one another. Do you really want to be with someone who tells you they may not love you anymore because they met someone else? Should you always be on the guard that she will meet someone and then not love you anymore? Even though she feels guilty about it, she still doesn’t know if she really does love you.
She is merely unsure if this other relationship will work out for her so she is scared it won’t and then she will lose that person and you and be left alone. That is what she is scared of. You are in love with someone who does not feel the same towards you. You need to be with someone who loves you as much as you love them because this lopsided relationship will just hurt you at the end because you are so blinded by your love for her you will let her mistreat you.
The truth she is already mistreating by going behind your back and getting emotionally involved with someone else but what makes everything worse is that she has admitted to you that she is not sure if she still loves you. That should be enough for you to know that you should not be with her. You should not be with anyone who has doubts about their feelings for you. That is no relationship at all because your girlfriend has already gone outside of your relationship to seek companionship elsewhere.
Don’t compromise yourself to be in this relationship, which is exactly what you would be doing if you stay with someone who doubts their feelings for you. Even though you love her, you have to keep in mind she does not feel the same way for you and by staying with her you are only leaving yourself for heartbreak at the end. Don’t dig yourself into a bigger hole then you are in already. Cut your losses and take some time to yourself and get over someone who doesn’t even know if they love you. It is time to move on, don’t prolong your suffering.
Always here,
Jasmine
