Dear Jasmine,
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. We have experienced many ups and downs throughout our relationship. We lived together for almost 2 years and suddenly we got separated because of many trials. He told me that he moved in Virginia but my instinct is he just lived here in the Bay area.
I am tired and sick of our relationship and I want to dump him because he only calls me whenever he wants to see me. We broke up so many times but every time we broke up I feel like I am a loser because I always think of him. But I don’t like this kind of relationship. Please help me.
Carolyn
Fremont, CA
Dear Carolyn,
You sound like you’re in a very dysfunctional relationship with your boyfriend, if you think he would lie about where he is living. I assume you are probably attached to him because you have been together for a long period of time but take a step back and take a long look at your relationship. You are not happy and you don’t want to be with him.
That is reason enough for you to break up with him and stay broken up. You are not a loser because you break up and still think of him. That is a very natural thing to do when you have been with someone for so long. What you have to keep in mind though is that your relationship with him is not making you happy, especially if he is lying to you about where he lives.
The first thing you need to realize that you need to stop answering his phone calls. You need to cut off communication with him and take steps to move on with your life. Even though it will be difficult, you have to do it if you want to move on with your life and give yourself the chance to find happiness.
Don’t sacrifice yourself now because you miss him when you break up, it will go away after time but if you stay with him, it will just drag on longer and longer and be harder on you. Don’t fall into that trap and get out of this relationship and start the healing process sooner, rather then later.
Always here,
Jasmine
