Dear Jasmine
I got really close to one of my co-workers and were like best friends and I considered her almost like the sister I never had. We go out with our other co-workers and my best friends boyfriend. So one night we got really drunk at the club and I ended up sleeping over my best friends house and her boyfriend wasn’t that drunk so i slept next to my bestfriend in her bed. I was passing out and I remember her boyfriend trying to sleep on the bed so i was ok with sleeping on the floor and he insistead on me sleeping on the bed.
So I was passed out and just remeber him kissing me and then touching me. Then i passed out then we started to do it and I passed out and then I woke up when he told me not to tell my best friend who was sleeping right next to us. So i started to cry and he keep telling me just forget about what ever happened and he was gonna take care of it. The next morning we all had work together and my best friend was okay so after work I called her and she was like oh he told me everything dont worry about it, I am not mad.
I knew just for me I had to tell her as much as I could rememeber and come to find out all he said that he thought I was his girlfriend and we almost did it but stopped. Ever since I told her what I knew we dont speak to each other at work we only talk to each other if we have to and it sucks because I didn’t want this at all.
I wouldn’t have done this sober and I wouldn’t have made this up. I am used to being single and didn’t want this at all. I miss our friendship and I would do anything to be on good terms with her again and be able to talk to each other like old times!! I know its going to take time and I deserve her not speaking to me. The thing also is that I have a feeling she doesnt believe my story at all and beleives her boyfriend. What can I do so I can try to make things better? Do think she will ever be my friend again?
Jennie A.
Waianae, Hawaii
Dear Jennie,
Whether or not your friend believes your story, I am sure you understand that it is difficult her to be your friend right now. I think you should talk to her and let her know how much her friendship means to you and that you hope you two can move pass it. It will take time and how much time, I couldn’t tell you but I would say you will probably be without her friendship for awhile while she is digesting all this information. Whether or not you are right or wrong in this situation, it still affects her deeply.
I would say that if she does not respond to what you say in a favorable manner that you take this time to realize what part you took in this. Sure you would not have done this if you were sober but you shouldn’t put yourself in a position where you could be taken advantage of. It is all good to have fun and everything but once you cannot take care of yourself, thats the time to stop, don’t put yourself in another situation like or perhaps even a worse situation then this. Take this as a lesson learned and be more careful in the future when you plan to go out and have your fun.
I don’t know if things will ever be the same between you and your friend but either way you need to give her some space and let her decide whether or not she is able to face you and be your friend once again. This kind of thing is very awkward and I don’t know how your friend will deal with this situation. After you talk to her just take some time to yourself and see if your friend comes around but don’t push her. If you two were meant to be friends again, then you will, otherwise learn from this mistake and hopefully it will not happen to you again.
Always here,
Jasmine
