Dear Jasmine,
My wife of four years has told me she doesn’t love me anymore. She says she was only with me because she was afraid to be alone. She also says that she has had feelings for a different man since the beginning of our relationship but she was afraid because she was pregnant with my child after only two months of us being together so she was afraid of no one wanting her.
Even though she has moved on, I haven’t. I still love her and want to be with her. She says she hasn’t told the other man how she feels yet. They have been hanging out as friends for a few weeks now. I really want to know if this man has feelings for my soon to be ex-wife.
Should I call him and ask. Keeping in mind that I would not want to hurt my ex or tell him how she feels. I think it would be good for my own closure if I knew how he felt. How do I go on loving a woman who was the greatest thing that ever happened to me when she doesn’t love me back? If you think something is truly worth having how easily would you give up?
Ian P.
Medford, OR
Dear Ian,
I do not think that you should call this man to ask him if he has feelings for your ex wife. That is something between your ex wife and him and you should not get yourself involved with it. Whether or not this man has feelings for you, the reality is that your wife no longer has feelings for you. Instead of focusing on what your ex wife is doing now, you need to focus on moving on with your life.
When you ask how you can move on from loving a woman who was the greatest thing that ever happened in your life, I would say that since she doesn’t love you anymore, she is not the best thing that has ever happened to you in your life. I imagine it must be hard to divorce someone you love, but you need to face reality and learn to move on for your own good.
Once you start the healing process and accept your marriage is over and try moving on your life, that’s when you can start rebuilding and finding everything that may just be the best thing that has ever happened to you in your life. Remember, take things one day as a time, but stop focusing on your ex wife and her life, focus on yours and healing.
Always here,
Jasmine
