Dear Jasmine,
My husband of 19 years has always found some kind of fault with me, IE. not making enough money, I snore too loud, overweight, don’t cook, watch too much television drama shows, can’t trust me, etc.
He is Hispanic and 11 years older than me. I had a gay friend that I worked with and became good friends for the time I worked there. Since I have moved to another place of work, I haven’t kept in touch with this gay friend.
My husband is now (3 years later) accusing me of sleeping with him! No matter what I say, he doesn’t want to believe me and now he telling everyone in his family including my side! He has also stripped me of his income and chore of doing the bills and has kept me in the dark about our financial situation.
I didn’t work during Christmas since I work as a substitute teacher. I used to work as a nurse and be in shape, but a lot of circumstances led me to switch jobs to take care of our diabetic son when he has illnesses or difficulties with his school work.
How can I make this marriage stronger because I am so annoyed by his insecurities? It feels like he is only happy when he can control everybody and everything.
Natalie T
Fort Myers, FL
Dear Natalie,
This doesn’t sound like a marriage to me, rather it sounds like a prison. Your husband has no respect for you and it seems like you have allowed him to disrespect you so many times that it has become second nature to him. I recommend that you seek counseling with him or go on your own.
I think in that instance you can get the professional help you need to figure out what your next steps are. Your husband can not continue to mistreat you like this and there is no reason you should stay with him and take all this emotional abuse.
Seek some counseling and find out what your options are. If he refuses to recognize the problem, you can either leave him, or stay with him and continue to be miserable for the rest of your life. I hope you can stand up for yourself and not allow him to control and disrespect you the way he has for so many years now.
Always here,
Jasmine
