Dear Jasmine,
Ever since I began dating my boyfriend three months ago, my 4 year old son’s behavior has changed dramatically. It had been just him and I since he was 6 months old, and he has since gone from a cheerful, playful, normal boy to a demanding, jealous wreck.
He demands all of my attention, and any contact with my boyfriend is met by attention getting temper tantrums. Adding to the situation is my new job of 2 months, which requires anywhere from 12-14 hours a day. I realize this is a lot of change for one so young, but I want my son back.
I don’t know how long it’s going to be, if ever, before he returns to some kind of normal. Is there anything I can do besides ride this out and wait for him to adapt?
Lynn
Springfield, IL
Dear Lynn,
I don’t think you should ride this out. First thing I think you should do is make sure to set aside time for your son, just the two of you. Let him know that just because you make new friends, he is still very important to you and that you love him.
I don’t think you should thrust your boyfriend into the mix too quickly because judging from his reaction, it took him by surprise and he reacted the only way he knows how to get your attention back.
For the time being, I would recommend that you see your boyfriend outside of the home, for dinner, etc and not include your son. I would also recommend that he not spend the night at your house, etc.
Slowly introduce them when you and your boyfriend have become more serious. Perhaps then you guys can go out together and do fun things with your son, like take him to the park and play ball and your boyfriend could teach him how to hit, etc.
Don’t neglect your son either by spending too much time with your boyfriend right now. Let your boyfriend know what is going on and ask for his understanding in this situation because your son is one of the most important people in your life.
Always here,
Jasmine
