Dear Jasmine,
I have been dating my boyfriend for over four years. We have our ups and downs, but one thing has always bothered me. He keeps me out of his social life. We do things together often, just the two of us or with my friends, but we really don’t do anything with his friends. Back in January, he lied about being out of town on business – but was caught lying when my friends busted him at bar in town – how humiliating!
So I of course confronted him the very next day. He said he had a friend in town in just wanted to spend the weekend with him and the guys. I would have totally absolutely would have been fine with. So, I am not sure he why he wasn’t honest.
We are still together – but what a stupid thing to lie about, right? Does that mean he is lying about really important stuff too? I am still having a hard time trusting him though. I ask to see his flight itineraries when he goes out of town. I don’t want to be a suspicious nag. He admits he has some growing up to do, but that he wants to because of me. I told him recently that I either need to get over it or get out if it.
I don't want to be harsh and maybe I am overreacting. What do you think? I don’t want to make us both miserable because I don’t trust him. But he is very social and I am not invited most of the time and now I am insecure about things. Is this a forgivable lie?
Kristy
Virginia
Dear Kristy,
I do not know where to start with this. First and foremost, is he lying about other important things? I would venture a guess and that guess would be yes. He lied because he didn’t want you to go and didn’t want you to find out and probably because he wanted to meet other girls. It really flusters me that you are still in this relationship and thinking you did something wrong.
You need to wake up and realize that your boyfriend is ashamed to be with you. I have never heard of a boyfriend keeping his girlfriend always from his friends and hiding the fact he is with his friends. There is something very seriously wrong here that I cannot believe you are tolerating and even considering staying in this relationship.
Get yourself a real man, who is happy and proud to be with you and doesn’t hide you in his back pocket! Stop making excuses for your boyfriend and starting realizing what is really going on here.
Always here,
Jasmine
