Dear Jasmine,
I married a wonderful man and loving father of two little girls last year and he treats me great and has a terrific career. I have a 12-year-old son from a previous marriage and have full custody of him.
My husband has little tolerance for children other than his two, and I’ve noticed lately that he is more and more distant to my son. My son gets good grades, was promoted to upper math class, does his chores, rarely complains yet my husband recognizes nothing he does but constantly complains about my son. All the while his girls have gotten more and more out of control, doing damage to our house, constant temper tantrums and bringing stress on the family.
My son doesn’t see the bias yet but I am afraid he will. My son scored in the upper percentile in his end of year math testing, but my husband only made fun of the testing process. My son was invited to join a special math/engineering group for next year to take math at a local university on Saturdays, and my husband didn’t even acknowledge it; yet he heaps praise on his daughter for getting on the school bus without having a temper tantrum.
I am worried about when my son becomes a teen and what friction will come about between him and his stepfather?
Terri
Roanoke Rapids, VA
Dear Terri,
Your problem is that you were only thinking of yourself when you married this man and not your son. If you were thinking of your son, then perhaps you wouldn’t have married your husband so quickly and would have waited until he treated your son better.
It is time to stop being selfish and take a look at the problem you have created for your son. It is typical for your husband to treat his biological children better then others. However, if he wants to be a part of your family, he needs to treat them all equally, which he obviously doesn’t know how.
Tell your husband your concern and if he refuses to treat your son equally, I hope this time you will do the right thing for your son and not for yourself and leave this man. Your son should be more important to you.
Always here,
Jasmine
