Dear Jasmine,
My problem is that my wife is unkind to my child from a previous relationship. I have two kids with my wife, ages 3 and 5, and have been with her for almost 10 years. My oldest daughter is almost 11. Although my wife has been around her this long, she is uncaring and hurtful towards her. She doesn’t say hello to her, ever. She shows her no affection. No kindness. My wife is quick to direct her or discipline her, but that’s it.
My wife barely speaks to her, and bad-mouths her to my smaller children. I view this as childish behavior, since my daughter had no say in my marriage. My question is, how do I change things? How do ensure my child doesn’t resent and hate me for not leaving my wife? I feel like I owe my child, she is a defenseless kid, but leaving my wife would only make me miss my other two kids as much as I miss my oldest when she is gone. Thanks for any help.
Hector P
Milwaukee WI
Dear Hector,
The first mistake you made was marrying this woman. You did not marry a woman but you married a child. Your first priority is to your children and you have put your needs in front of you children and that is selfish. This woman is treating your children badly and you stay in this marriage.
There is no quick fix to this problem besides get a divorce. Don’t bring your children into a bad environment because they don’t deserve it. You may think that she will change but your children shouldn’t have to suffer for one more minute of this womans cruel words. Don’t drag your children along in this drama with her and do what is right for your children. If you want to have fun and date women, do it after your children turn 18 years old and are out of a house. At this time your number one concern should be your children’s needs and not your own. You want to fix this later, go ahead but for the time being, stop being selfish and give your children a good caring environment without this childish woman.
Always here,
Jasmine
