Dear Jasmine,
My two friends, “Gloria and Dani” have been my friends for years. Gloria doesn’t treat Dani and I the way friends should be treated.
Recently Gloria called Dani names for being overweight while shopping for clothes. She vented to me for about 2 hours about how hurt she was and how she didn’t want to put up with it anymore.
So when I got home, I proceeded to talk to Gloria about what happened. I simply asked her “What happened between you and Dani?” She answered with “I hope you can forgive me” and hung up.
I texted her saying it’s not me that needs to forgive you. Then a few days later I get a text from Dani, about the same incident, but with more complaints about Gloria blaming her for betraying her. Dani continued to say that Gloria accused her of betrayal because she came to me to vent.
After being told this I called Gloria. I told her that she has no right to be mad at Dani, that by her not being a friend brought this on herself. Dani came to me because she was hurt, not because she wanted to hurt you, but because you hurt her.
Dani is not the type of person to really stand up for herself and “give someone her piece of mind” She’s really shy when it comes to her feelings, especially when she’s hurt.
I’m trying to decide whether to keep standing up for her and stop my friendship with Gloria. I hate seeing my friends hurt by her. Please help.
Jillian B.
New York, NY, USA
Dear Jillian,
The problem is not with Gloria. The problem is with you and Dani. The biggest problem is that you two do not know what the meaning of a friendship is, otherwise if you did, you would not have been friends with Gloria in the first place.
Issues will always arise in friendships but putting each other down and talking about it to one another is not a friendship. It is in both your best interest not be friends with Gloria and really figure out what a friendship means.
In any relationship you maintain, there should always be a mutual respect for one another, otherwise, the relationship will suffer. It is apparent that Gloria has no respect for either one of you.
Respect yourself and don’t accept others not respecting you.
Always here,
Jasmine
