Dear Jasmine,
My 21 year old son has moved from job to job. He rarely stays for longer than couple of months. He is unemployed at the present time.
I live with his step father, who is at the end of his tether, since I was made redundant last September. I am desperately looking for work, but this has had no affect on my son Josh.
He doesn’t get up until mid afternoon. We have tried talking to him but it falls on deaf ears. My husband now wants to throw him out and I do agree that might be the only solution. Can you suggest how you can get through to someone who just won’t listen, shall I write it down?
I am my own worst enemy as I can’t just not feed him, but he doesn’t deserve the love and attention he gets from me.
Many thanks,
Maria K.
Surrey, ND
USA
Dear Maria,
The problem is you are treating your adult son as a child and he has continued to be one. He has no financial worries because you have been taking care of him since the day he was born.
Your son has a lack of respect for your home and how hard you have worked to take care of him. I would suggest that you really sit down and talk to him. Writing this down will not help. Let him know that you and your husband are struggling with financially since you are also out of work. Let him know that he needs to start contributing to the household.
Tell him it is time for him to be a man and not a boy any longer. Start charging your son rent for living at home with you and if he refuses, then you have no other choice but to kick him out.
By babying him any longer you are only hurting him. You are only allowing him to not keep a job and not give up when things are tough. I am sure not everyone loves their job or wants to stay at it but they do because they need to keep a job to feed their family.
Hopefully you can get through to your son. Don’t let him take advantage of you and your husband any longer or given time, this destructive behavior will drive your husband away.
Always here,
Jasmine
