Dear Jasmine,
About 3 years ago I was introduced to my very first love of my life. I fell so hard for him that it still hurts to this day. We were so compatible and we shared so many precious moments together and it was all taken away so fast.
Fast forward 3 years, we are no longer together. We lasted about a year and I’ve spent the last two years wondering ‘what if’ I didn’t end things? Where would I be?
I also seem to fail in relationships because I always compare my new relationship to my ex, and if I don’t see a perfect fit, I dump them. What do I do?
I’m wasting years on my life because I don’t know how to move on. My ex seems to have moved on, but not me. Why? I ended it.
Mark T.
Phoenix, AZ
Dear Mark,
There must be a reason that you ended things with your ex-boyfriend and so things were not a perfect fit for you. Perhaps you are focusing on all the great things that were in the relationship and the feeling.
Many times people fall in love but for other things that don’t involve your feelings are the reasons they are not together. People who are together, aren’t only together because they love each other, there are many other reasons, like compatibility, communication, etc.
At least you do see that you are wasting your time dwelling over this guy. How can you expect to move on and find the right person, when all you do is compare them with your ex-boyfriend? That is not fair because everyone is their own person.
Perhaps you forgot what that thing was that made you guys break up so and you focus too much on the good things. While it is good to focus on these good things, as they make up your past, you must also remember the reasoning behind the break-up.
This should help point you into the direction of getting over him and not putting him on a pedestal. Give yourself time but just remember, the longer you dwell over this, the longer it will take you to find the right person because the person could be right in front of you, but you cannot see because you are not ready.
Always here,
Jasmine
