Dear Jasmine,
I contacted an old friend from over 20 years ago. We had not parted on good terms. I had tried before about 15 years ago and that did not go well either.
His feelings were still raw. We are/were attempting to talk. He is prone to angry outbursts. My husband doesn’t understand why I keep giving him the benefit of the doubt and now is crazed about every interaction I have with any male.
I feel trapped. I have put up with my old friends outbursts because I think they come from a place of pain and I feel guilty for having hurt him. As for my husband, I don’t know how to fix things, since the jealous behavior is so uncharacteristic and crazy.
My husband says he knows I would never cheat, so I don’t understand why he feels so threatened. He says my ego is so susceptible to admiration that I will make bad choices. I don’t think that I am so fragile and his jealousy is making me feel confined and suffocated. Our marriage is in a really bad place and in danger of failing miserably.
Cynthia R.
South Carolina
USA
Dear Cynthia,
What is confusing is why you are repeating contacting this friend after so many years. This shows that you are having problems in your marriage, well before your husband got jealous of you contacting your old friend.
I don’t blame your husband for being upset about this, I think that is a very normal reaction to have when you are contacting someone who obviously doesn’t want to be friends with you any longer.
Some things should be left in the past and I think this is one of those things you need to let go and move on. You need to focus on your future with your husband, not your past with your friend, or you probably won’t have much of a future with your husband.
Get your priorities straight, you need to be working on your marriage, not a lost friendship from the past.
Always here,
Jasmine
