Dear Jasmine,
I am a 15-year-old girl and I am bisexual. None of my friends or family know that I am bisexual because am afraid of how they will react to it if I told them about it. I am afraid that they will treat me different and I would feel uncomfortable around them so I have chose to keep it a secret.
Another problem I have now is that there is this other girl who goes to my school and I have feelings for her. She had told me that she has feelings for me too. She has recently broken up with her boyfriend after dating him for 2 months. What do you think I should I do? Should I Just tell her that I have feelings for her? I am scared of her reaction because I am not sure if she does have feelings for me or not.
Yuki C
New York, NY
Dear Yuki,
It is a very confusing time for you right now because you are experiencing a lot of things that you are unsure of right now. Your family and friends may be shocked if you told them because they probably have no idea that you are bisexual. I think that you should only tell your friends and family when you are sure and you are ready to do so because if you are not comfortable with yourself yet, I don’t think you will be comfortable with what everyone’s reaction may be towards you.
I wouldn’t really rush into telling that girl that you have feelings for her because in any given situation, she just broke up with her boyfriend and may still be vulnerable so it is not in your best interest to get into a relationship with her even if she is interested in dating you. I think you should just be a friend to her for now. In any given relationship, whether or straight, gay or bisexual, you probably shouldn’t jump into a relationship right away with that person because they may still be carrying some emotional issues with their previous relationship.
It is also a very hard and confusing time for you because you have to think about whether you want to tell your friends or family and just rushing to tell this girl you like her may be setting yourself up for an emotional journey you may not be prepared for. Take your time and figure things out before you make any big decisions in your life. Think it through and if you don’t have a friend you feel you can confide in, perhaps you could talk to your school counselor. Please also feel free to write back to me as well.
Always here,
Jasmine
