Dear Jasmine,
I am 35 years old and recently (a month ago) found out I am pregnant. The father is a man I have known for 5 years but we are not together. He doesn’t have the money to pay child support and we are discussing ways for this to work. He doesn’t want to marry me (I don’t want to get married either) and he doesn’t want to be present at the birth. He acts like he is going through all this stress and his life is horrible because of this, while I am who is going to go through the whole process somewhat alone.
Part of me says I should just tell him to go take a hike (even though he is my best friend) and part of me wants to keep trying to win him over for the baby’s sake. I almost prefer raising this child alone and am prepared to do so. I do not want to go through any legal battles in regards to child support. Should I tell him that he can sign away his rights and just let him be or suffer through his indifference to me?
Penny V
Utah
Dear Penny,
Your “best friend†got you pregnant and essentially is not taking any responsibility for his actions. I might rethink if he was truly your “best friend†if I were you because not only is he putting more stress on you, which by the way you do not need right now for the baby’s sake, but he is disregarding what you must be going through.
I can understand that you don’t want to take things to the extent of legal battles and what not, which by the way is lucky for him since he should be paying for his child, since it would just create more stress for you when you already have to worry about taking care of your child.
If your “best friend†does not want to provide for this child and is not going to even help you through the process, I suggest you do have him sign away his rights to your child. He should have no rights to a child that he doesn’t even want to support or find ways to. Especially since just being your “best friend†alone would make one think he would at least be there to support you during this time, since he has a big part to do with this! He should be by your side through this process of having a baby even if couldn’t financially support you right now and he should be trying to find ways to do so, instead of just writing it off as even an option. Sounds like to me your “best friend†is really only concern about himself and not about you. It is never too early for you to start putting yourself and your baby first and think about what is best for both of you.
Always here,
Jasmine
