Dear Jasmine,
I have an issue with my wife’s parents. They have never respected me from the day we met. I am a successful adult and have a great job and have invested in real estate. I know that this bothers my wife as she has been very supportive of me and how I feel. We have had some issues in our marriage. I was diagnosed with cancer in 2001 and was told I was sterile from it. We adopted two wonderful boys a year later.
My wife’s parents and some of her siblings had some very cruel things to say about us adopting (IE. what are you doing, their not your children, your F***ing nuts). Her parents even said that the children where nothing to them because they where not birth children. I snapped one day and said a lot, some things that need to be said but my wife wishes I did not.
From that day on I have had no relationship with her parents or one of her sisters. I have tried for the sake of my boys and my wife to patch things up, but I get kicked in the head. So I have decided not to have any contact with them at all. My wife sees her mother but cannot stand her father. He is a very controlling. I have never let him control me and he is frustrated. Do you think I am doing the right thing by not seeing them?
Greg
Boston, MA
Dear Greg,
I do think that you are doing the right thing by not seeing them. First of all their behavior is quite appalling and your wife should not be condoning this type of behavior from her own parents. Your priority should be your family, your children and keeping in contact or bringing your children in contact with your wife’s parents will probably do your children more bad then good.
It sounds like your wife’s family has a lot of issues and I do think it is probably best for you not to bring your children into the mess they have created with their narrowing minded thinking. Focus on your health and your children. Don’t let people like that get to you, even if they are a part of your “familyâ€. Hopefully one day they can open up their minds and their hearts to your family, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. Just live your life and if they wish to be so negative towards your family, let them miss out on an opportunity to get to know your two wonderful sons. The jokes on them.
Always here,
Jasmine
