Dear Jasmine,
I am a lesbian with my partner for 14 years. Six months ago she cheated on me. We have a 17 year old son who just graduated and he was raised by me as my partner.
I cooked, I cleaned and I basically took care of him. His dad, my partner’s ex husband was never active in his son’s life. The dad finally shows up and is now buying him a car for his graduation.
The car is very expensive and I did not raise him to be materialistic. Decisions have been made between my partner and her ex husband regarding her son. I was not included in the decision-making and feel used. Not only did she cheat on me but now she is kicking me in the butt when it comes to what was suppose to be our son. I am so furious.
B
San Francisco, CA
Dear B,
I assume that the son is not legally yours, meaning you have not adopted him as so? Even if his dad hasn’t been around, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be given a chance now that he is showing an interest in his son’s life.
You need to talk to your partner about where you stand in your relationship because first of all you seem to be still upset about her cheating on you, which of course you have a right to be. However, if you cannot let it go and move on to trust her again, I don’t think it is a very healthy relationship for you to remain in.
In regards to making a decision on her son, you need to address this with her and ask why you were not included. Although you may not want him to receive a car for his birthday, you probably have no control over what his biological father wants to give his son for his graduation.
Always here,
Jasmine
