Drunken Stepfather
Dear Jasmine,My stepfather has been married to my mother for over 15 years. Everything has been great up to the last year or so. I found out he made a pass at one of my friends while all partying at my parents place. My friend told me one year later and I was in shock.
I confronted him and he swore up and down nothing happened and how truly sorry he was and blamed it on the alcohol. So I decided not to tell my mother. But from that point I never really trusted him. He then started talking to me more like a friend and I told him that some of the things he was saying was inappropriate and he backed off.
His mother lived with my parents for pretty much their whole marriage and she suddenly passed away a few weeks back. My parents decided to have a BBQ and invite some friends over and my stepfather got drunk and told me that he wanted to sleep with him.
I told my husband the next day as I have this knot in my stomach and I feel violated. I don’t want him around me or my child. I need to tell my mother this, but I am afraid of hurting her. And I know she will divorce him. Even though this has all taken place I feel bad for him as this will leave him with no family and I am afraid he will take his own life. I can’t get passed this one. What should I do?
Melissa C.
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Dear Melissa,
Even if your mother will be hurt, by not telling her, she is being hurt by his lies. He is not your responsibility and you need to tell your mother what has happened and let her decide for herself what she wants to do. Next time around, I wouldn’t keep it a secret for so long before telling your mother. She has the right to know.
Whatever problems he may have because of his alcohol abuse, he needs to address this himself but that is no excuse for what he is doing to your mother and to the rest of the family. Your mother deserves better then some drunken husband who hits on her daughter and friends.
Always here,
Jasmine