Dear Jasmine,
My sister was molested by my father. He denies it but I know its true. The trauma, cries for help, being called a being called a liar and lack of support from my family caused my sister to go insane.
I took it upon my self to be her support system. However, I got deathly ill about 10 years ago and was hospitalized. That is when my sister found the opportunity to kill her self. But nobody seems to care.
I have two other sisters and my mother. They just pulled together the funds to bury her. And that was the end for them. Meanwhile I have raised her daughters. They are three happy, healthy, smart, humble and sincere young ladies.
However I am very angry, sad and miserable. I don’t deal with my family at all. When somebody mentions my fathers I go on attack. I hate him. I spend a great deal of time grieving and crying. Why can’t I get over this.
Sharan
Las Vegas, NV
USA
Dear Sharan,
By no means, should you carry on the burden of your sister’s suicide. She needed far more help then you could have ever given her. This is a route that she selfishly chose for herself by abandoning her children and her family.
Unfortunately in our society today, you see molestation seems to be a major problem. The difference is how the victims handle the situation. This is never an easy thing to deal with but people can overcome it and live long healthy lives. However, this was not the case for your sister and her actions has had a very negative impact on you and her children.
You are harboring much too much hate. This hate has consumed your life and made you into a very unhappy person. You may not think this, but your negative energy will be felt by her three children. As much as you hate your father, you must remember how much you love your sister and your three nieces.
Channel your energy in giving your sister’s three children a chance at a normal life and not one full of hatred. They have already lost their mother, don’t let them live their lives with the burdens you have carried on for your sister.
Let the hatred go. Your sister is gone. Focus on what you do have and create a positive environment for these children to grow up in. I would hate for your negative energy to transfer over to her children and give them more potential to head down the wrong path. Give these kids a chance at a normal life by being the best aunt/mother to them that you can be. And you can’t do that carry all the hatred in your heart.
Always here,
Jasmine
