Dear Jasmine,
I definitely need some advice on this one. When I was young I married my childhood sweetheart. Unfortunately it did not last for more than a year. We were young and both were not ready to settle down. He was cheating and I found myself doing the same thing but only with his older brother. We had a connection but he (older brother) knew not to let it go any further.
I got divorced and moved out of state and remarried and have 2 great young adult children. I am currently divorced about 9 years now. I moved back closer to my home town and a few months ago I met up with my first husbands older brother. Well we have been seeing each other for the past month or so and it is so great.
We have connected and he is just so wonderful, the only problem is his family and mine. My first ex husband hated me and now he knows I am seeing his brother and he is very upset even though it has been 25 years. His mother was upset and did not like me after the trauma went on.
We really fell in love with each other. I guess I just don’t know what to do about how the families will react to this and how do I go about meeting up again with his mom. He is really close to his mother more so than the other boys so it is touchy. What do you think? Maybe I should run! This is just so crazy!
Your input would be greatly appreciated.
B.W.
Dear B,
It is not surprising that his problem would react so negatively since you two did end things badly. I think that you two are grown mature adults now and if you two want to be together, you two need to face up to the fact that not everyone is going to like it and be able to accept that. When the time comes and you need to approach his mother, just be mature about it. Sit her down and let her know that you know that mistakes were made in the past when you were young but you have grown and matured. Let her know your intentions with her son are genuine and you hope that you two can work things out and rebuild a new relationship with each other.
It won’t be easy and she may not react the way you want her to but don’t let that deter you from doing it. Just understand her reaction is understandable because she doesn’t want her son to be hurt by anyone, especially someone who she believes hurt one of her sons before. Give it time and see how things go but don’t let it affect your relationship with your boyfriend. It may work out at the end and it may not, that is a risk that you must be willing to take if you want to maintain the relationship.
Always here,
Jasmine
